Trump

The sneaky insurance scam that Trump is using to profit off peaceful protests

Everybody knows that Trump is a Con Man, however, you may not know that his political career has ‘allegedly’ all been part of one big insurance scam that started in the 80s. Here is the insane, ‘alleged’, full story.

The Background

This was a con 35 years in the making, and it is the classic example of a “Long Con”. You end up spending most of the time waiting, and you really only do anything for the last 5%. However for a con like this one, the returns are worth the wait in gold.  The year was 1985, a young Donald J Trump had recently been spotted stealing bread crumbs from pigeons in Central Park, this was an early warning sign of his future business dealings. For that reason you would find Donald as the butt of every sleazy businessman joke. It was not an easy life. To cope, Doland ended up getting involved with shady characters. Deplorables like Fat Jimmy, Sammy the Slug, and Kenny B. They would all pile into these smokey jazz pits to discuss their latest “business ventures” with Donald Little-Hands. Here is where they came upon the idea that would be their great con. 

The Con

In essence, the plan was that of a simple insurance scheme. Buy, burn, profit. However, Trump had devised the most ingenious way of creating plausible deniability. Running for President. The ensuing fires would provide the perfect smoke screen for Trump’s evil plan. It becomes trivial to explain away arson  when you have a crowd of peaceful black people to blame it on. In fact, if it was not for my numerous anonymous sources, this story would have never even come to light. The truth is, Trump had been planning this for over thirty years. Digging through county records, we learn that his associate Sammy the Slug had recently acquired several confederate statues, suspiciously days before one of Trump’s famous Twitter rants. Wake up America, Trump has been playing you like a fiddle. Autozone was not burned down by BLM, it was burned down by Fat Jimmy and his goons. 

Why Lie? It’s the American Way.

Why would Trump need to do all this for a simple insurance scam? Our sources say Trump intentions are unilaterally malevolent. Trump would sell you the Brooklyn bridge and overcharge you. He is a bad bad man, and you should make sure to vote against him in November. Don’t believe everything you believe in the news, but believe this because it is backed by trustworthy anonymous sources.

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