Joe Biden sells Manhattan to Chinese for $24 in beads

First major diplomatic deal inked by Biden since election

BREAKING: In a blockbuster new trade deal, the Harris-Biden transition team began to repair the foreign relations damage done by Trump over the past four years. In a stunning and brave announcement, a spokesperson for Mr. Biden announced that the healing process with China had begun. “Today, we are proud to announce the end of presidential xenophobia by announcing the sale of Manhattan to China. Terms of the deal include $24 worth of beads in exchange for the island of Manhattan. Only racists will criticize this”, explained Biden team members, a sentiment echoed by the Chinese Communist Party. “We accept this, and look forward to our new partnership. We were interested in San Francisco also, but we couldn’t work the bugs out on turning the homeless into slave labor, so we tabled that, for now.” explained a communist spokesman with a high social credit score. “These beads are special beads to us Chinese.”

“This deal is about the soul of the nation. Stop blaming China for everything. C’mon man, I know these guys. They’re not bad folks, folks.” read Mr. Biden.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
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