Joe Biden Closes the “Gun Show Loophole”

Another Problem Solved in the First 100 Days

We all know that guns are evil, except when felons or peaceful protestors own them. To that end, woke leftists have demanded that guns be banned. All good Americans that follow the science agree.

Yet right wing extremists have created a horrible type of black-market event called a “gun show”. At “gun shows”, insurrectionists gather, wear tee shirts with American flags and seem to enjoy themselves like there was no pandemic going on. To these bigots, it’s as if life was normal. They don’t wear masks or social distance. In fact, their large flat screen TVs do not even play CNN.

Right-wing Neanderthals use these gun shows to assemble, speak and even share ideas. Worse still, they use these secret cabals to sell or give away guns, cannons, and even tanks, often to children. This is called “the Gun Show Loophole”.

All Democrats know about this murky loophole because our leaders have told us about it since Barack Obama, but none of us have ever really seen it. Right wing gun owners have tried to throw us off the trail of this menace by explaining that people buying guns at guns shows go through the same federal background check that people buying guns in stores do, as if that matters!

Today, in a historic You tube address (comments disabled), with over 317 Americans watching in real time, President Biden revealed that he had discovered the actual real gun show loophole. “Take your guns, yes I will!” explained the President while his fingers were inside a Chinese “finger trap”. “This is the gun show loophole. I’m the only Barack that ever solved this puzzle. “

The agile President concluded his remarks with this carrot to gun owners: “turn in your guns before July 4th, and you may… MAY … be able to have a July 4th cookout with one household member, if you both have been vaccinated and wear two masks and social distance, and there are no hamburgers.”

Diversity is our strength.

Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
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