Biden, Fauci to Visit Tuskegee to Encourage Vaccinations

50th Anniversary of CDC Study in Tuskegee Will Encourage All Americans to Get the Shot

MACON COUNTY, AL- In a stunning and brave gesture, President Biden announced that both he and universally trusted Dr. Anthony Fauci of the CDC will visit Tuskegee, Alabama to commemorate the 50th Anniversary of a landmark CDC study on syphilis on African American men. The goal is to encourage the handful of remaining American shot resisters to get vaccinated before July 4th. Bringing along beloved CDC expert Dr. Fauci will surely generate trust and confidence among any current local sceptics. “Look, the CDC, in fact, is already a trusted name with an established track record in Tuskegee, which is a vulnerable community of color.” announced the President.

“We will make it easy for everyone. The CDC already has a satellite research office in Tuskegee, they have the needles and the things. They will be open around the clock on Friday nights. C’mon folks, do you want to go to a small approved outdoor gathering on the 4th of July or not?”

“The science says if you don’t get vaccinated within the next 30 days we are all going to die.” explained Dr. Fauci. “We are already set up for this. Remember the Bad Blood Program we ran down here in the 70’s until a malcontent whistleblower caused it to stop? We had to ship experiments and research to China after that. No one wants that do they? We will supply the needles and the medical professionals just like last time we were here. President Biden has also ordered that we supply a free hot dog and ice cream to each person of color vaccinated. White people will get a lunch made of cicadas that we have been working on in the lab.”

President Biden welcomed any former patients of the 1970’s CDC Study to attend the event for free. “Those fellas must be my age by now, but if any of them lived they are welcome to come down for a second bite at the apple. We are here to help.” Biden also pledged that any persons of color who get vaccinated at the historic CDC substation in Tuskegee will get a surprise gift. All approved journalists in the mainstream media applauded this groundbreaking move by the President and the CDC.

The Science is our strength.

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Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.

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