Culture

“Critical Gender Theory” an even more progressive push that fills the gaps left by “Critical Race Theory”

"Critical Race Theory" isn't progressive enough. It's time for the ultimate expression of leftist ideology

If there’s one thing we can all agree on by now, it’s the idea that “Critical Race Theory” is not only a collection of facts and observable truths – but it’s simply not far left enough. That’s why CNN, MSNBC, NPC Daily, VOX and other media outlets of similar credibility are banding together in an effort to push Critical Gender Theory.

What is Critical Gender Theory?

In short, Critical Gender Theory (CGT) is the framework by which everything and anything should be viewed through the lens of gender identity. As we know, gender is on a spectrum. Furthermore, each and every individual is placed somewhere along that spectrum with very few, if any, placed on either end of it. Additionally, people can move around on this spectrum at will completely unrestrained at any pace, any time, for any reason – no questions asked.

It is ESSENTIAL that we take into consideration the gender placement of every single person, every single object, and every single idea we come across.

How can Critical Gender Theory help?

Critical Gender Theory can help by providing a safe and nurturing environment for all people, objects, and ideas to take part. We can’t assume the gender of anything we see. If we approach life with blinders on both eyes and sound-proof earphones, only then can we fully determine the essence of what makes up the world around us.

There are no wrong identities in Critical Gender Theory apart from cisgendered straight white men. This is an understandable commonality shared with the comparatively more right leaning approach of Critical Race Theory.

My son was born a male, briefly, but I was able to determine that she was an asexual non-binary two-spirit 11 minutes into their life from the vibe I received from an emotional support house crystal before my own gender changed from female, to male, to an intersex quarterly-demi-bi-annual-super-straight-homo-habilus. I’m black on Tuesdays but my theyby twins are saimese at the soul, switched with neo-caucasion anthropomorphized character traits I read from a Tagalog Manga while my inseminated nephew gave birth to my uni-spirit anti-binary genderqueer kink-produced trans-erotic love child. If that’s too hard for you to understand, you’re a part of the problem. This is why we need Critical Gender Theory

  • T’raiku van Nor’panderzander Smith, 31, Butch pansexual epicine agender-genderqueer birth suggestor

Without Critical Gender Theory, America will never improve. We must strive to be better than the generation before us. Should we fail to force Critical Gender Theory down the throats of our youth, they may grow up to prefer traditional nuclear families over the far superior polyamorous genderfluid trans-globular family without rules or restrictions.

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NPC

The creator of NPC Daily. The mastermind behind the entire NPC Daily movement. Yes, this entire website is satire and not meant to be taken seriously. It's for fun. Chill. See "about" page for more details. Now that we got that taken care of, repeat after me: "Orange man the absolute worst."

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