KABUL-At last there is a new poll with reliable, uplifting news. In a stunning and brave communique today, the Taliban released a recent poll that shows President Biden enjoys a 98% approval rating among Taliban men (the small handful of Taliban men who disapproved of Biden (2%) offered to change their votes to make it an 100 % if President Biden gives them their own personal tanks to commutee to work in and stimulus checks). Women do not vote in Afghanistan under the Taliban’s stewardship, because they do not want to.
A Taliban leader graciously took a call from the NPC Daily newsroom. “We like this Biden. Other Presidents never gave us any cool weapons; the other ones, especially Al Banyadam Naronji (Pashto for “Bad Orange Man”) give us nothing but hard time. The Orange one told us, ‘if you f around, I’ll bomb the living shit out of you”. He was no good for us. Biden leave us with more weapons than we ever had, plus he left us many women who he left here for the taking; I took three for myself. We need cash, he venmos us. We like him.”
Some news is still wholesome and good. The White House press corps broke into thunderous applause at the news when it was announced at White House Information Minister Jen Psaki’s daily press conference, which is the most highly watched daily event on the internet.
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