Hunter Biden to Carry Both Chinese and American Flags at Olympic Ceremony in Beijing

Chinese Party Leaders Applaud Biden Family Spirit of Cooperation

WASHINGTON- In a joyous joint announcement, the Olympic teams of both the United States and China have agreed that Hunter Biden, experienced international businessman and son of President Biden, will carry both countries’ flags into the Opening Ceremonies at the Olympic Games in Beijing. “When I ran for office I said, if, in fact, on Day One I’d … oh … restore the soul of the nation. That’s what I said, I’m not joking. Wear a mask and wash your hands!” announced President Biden, from atop the North Façade of the White House, which has been altered to construct a beautiful Chinese pagoda on the roof of the White House. “The White House doesn’t need to be so white, so the President, as he says he will do every day, commissioned this beautiful pagoda”, explained a White House spokes-them.

“We note the Biden family upholding their end of the bargain. We look forward to continuing our mutually beneficial relationship through sport.” noted a senior Chinese spokesman (ed note-in China people are still called by their birth genders).

Only a handful of unvaccinated bigots complained about the announcement, but trusted fact-checkers quickly banned these malcontents from speaking on social media by lowering their social credit score.

Stay tuned to the NPC Daily Sports section for all the Olympic Coverage you need.

Pepe Johnson

Robert ("Pepe") Johnson is a Gen YZ freelance social justice facilitator. A graduate of Palo Alto State with a major in Mime, with a concentration in Walking Against the Wind, with post-graduate online certificates of knowledge in Non-Binary Gender Studies and 21st Century Bathroom Planning, "Pepe" has performed as a nude mime and human statue, as well as a professional protestor. "Pepe" is a nickname, but he has been called that since childhood, not for current political gain or to seem more Mexican. This entire site is satire.
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